Change

Update.

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by brassow2007, Dec 31, 2020.

  1. brassow2007

    brassow2007 The Edge Lord

    Heya. I’ve got ~~ 35 days left on the ban (really stopped keeping track) and some of you may have, but likely not, noticed I am no longer in the discord server. This was due to a variety of reasons, partially for my happiness, and partially because I just had nothing to do there.

    Listening in on conversations was kind of fun, but it’s kind of turned into an old playerbase vs modern playerbase and I don’t want to get involved in all that. Secondly, there’s a lot of bias towards me because I am young, which is no fault of your own really, and it probably happens more in my real life anyway, but I don’t really need more of that going on.

    An example of this was when Chef was being warned. I was told to quiet down after raising a point because I “wasn’t part of the problem” meanwhile Dungeon was free to talk, while he too, was not part of the problem.

    Secondly, all of my “friends” there (that’s not to sound edgy just not really friends anymore) have grown distant after my ban. I no longer feel like a part of this community, but instead just a side character in a shonen battle anime. All of the old players coming back was fun for a while, but that quickly changed when Sent was promoted to mod after a mere couple of days upon return. I don’t know Sent, maybe he’ll make a good mod maybe he won’t. I don’t have anything against or for him yet.

    Meanwhile, I worked my ass off for mod, (and then ruined it instantly so never doing that again) and when I got it it was a huge confidence boost to me. Around the time I got mod I had been struggling through a large variety of personal issues. When I had finally got mod after ~~ 5 attempts, it felt great. ZeldaCraft had finally accepted that I was mature enough for the job.

    BOY WERE THEY WRONG!

    Within 2 weeks I blew the whole thing. Got banned, demoted, and stripped of trusted rank. That was a pretty large sucker punch to the face for a while, and for a few days after I had been wondering if I could do anything at all. I had been struggling in school, struggling with famimy, and struggling with friends. Nothing really had been going right.

    Getting removed from one of my favorite communities hurt a lot. Fortunately, this sucker punch only had an effect of about 3 days, after which I had shrugged it off, relatively happy with the way I dealt with it.

    anyway. Fast forward to about a week ago. I left ZC after Dungeon was muted (for separate reasons) and decided I wasn’t fit to be there anymore. People I had considered friends didn’t talk to me, people who didn’t talk to me became hostile.

    Some of the close friends I’ve made in the server stayed in touch, but it feels as though people have started to ignore me and dismiss me as a fool, which they have every right to after what I did. They placed trust in me and I snapped it like a twig.

    Ever since I left I’ve been feeling a lot happier. I’ve been spending time with communities that I value, and who value me. I don’t think I’ll be coming back to zeldacraft discord, until at very least after I’m banned, if ever.

    As I said earlier. I’m not going to apply for mod, likely ever again. I don’t trust myself to do that job and it’s crystal clear you all don’t either. I’m not sure I’ll ever be as active as I was. I might just fade out and dissapear entirely. While it doesn’t seem likely. It’s very possible that with 0 contact for a month that it could happen.

    I’ve left the zeldacraft discord, I’ve left all linking discords, ZC house, I left a while ago, the shitpost central, also out. I’m feeling a lot better now that I’ve cut ties to most of the community. The only way to really contact me is through my dms.

    ZeldaCraft is no longer the place I remember fondly, the place I made memories. ZeldaCraft now, is something different. Whether that be good or bad, I likely will not be a part of it. I’ve faded from an active, reasonable part of the community, to a banned player, and nothing to show for it. The only real accomplishment I made throughout my time here, was shortest serving mod. And if you think that’s pretty cool, think a fucking

    How am I doing now? Well recently I’ve been battling a lot of mental struggles. I often feel like I cannot do anything right, and that every time anyone counts on me, or expects anything of me, I just mess it up. I used to consider myself smart, mature, talented. I realize now that I really am none of those things, nor was I. I think the greatest compliment I can give myself truthfully is that I’m a quick study. But I kind of have to be cause my memory is terrible. I need to relearn things multiple times before they ever stick.

    How am I doing now? Cont. My parent has also been rather degrading for me. He takes a lot of opportunities to say that you’re doing something wrong. And after hearing that you’re wrong 10s of times a day, it kind of starts to stick. I’m probably at an all time low right now. I’ll be able to recover but it’s surely not fun.

    I look forward to meeting you again (or not)

    TL;DR I’m not joining the discord til I’m unbanned, I feel happier out of it and I need happiness right about now. Also I fucked myself over on this server and my reputation was destroyed.

    love and peace
    ~Edge

    (feel free to stay in touch on disc: Edgelord#7510)
     
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2020
  2. Dark Lord Sentis

    Dark Lord Sentis Deku Scrub Staff Member

    I was repromoted after a couple weeks of being back, not a couple days. I am a good Mod, was before I left too, that's why I was repromoted so quickly. I'm sorry you're having a hard time, I'm happy to lend an ear if you need one.
     
  3. Subrosian_Chef

    Subrosian_Chef Hylian Citizen

  4. Subrosian_Chef

    Subrosian_Chef Hylian Citizen

    baurger man.
     
    GrayPsi likes this.
  5. GrayPsi

    GrayPsi Hylian Citizen

    ...

    CHEF!!!!!!!!
     
  6. brassow2007

    brassow2007 The Edge Lord

    There’s nothing I have against you at all. I just don’t know you and it seems odd
     
  7. Ichikuro

    Ichikuro Bow wow. I am dog. Staff Member

    So, I'm just curious if this is a post of you trying to vent, or what exactly you're going for here?

    Involving when you were told to "quiet down", as that was me, you were told to quiet down because you werent exactly helping the situation. If anything you were escalating it, when we were trying to get it to calm down. And people weren't "free to talk" at that present time anyways.

    Not sure what your issue is with Sent at all, actually. A couple people have mentioned their qualms with him and honestly, he's one of the more mature people from ZC, at any part of the timeline. Him being mod fit for the agenda in which we're trying to achieve. Being a shitpost-y type person just isn't fitting on this server anymore (Yes sure, you can still have fun, but it has its limits).

    Being a moderator in itself will take a toll on anyone if they arent prepared for it. It's a lot of responsibility and a lot of "power" to someone not used to it. I'm sorry you had such a rough time with it. Sorry your at home life is a little unstable too. If you do have an issue you want to talk about, feel free to DM me on discord, or any of us admins.

    As for the "leaving until you're unbanned". as they say on nearly every other niche server I play on that is addicting:

    "See ya next week" (obviously not literal)
     
    nasfi and Dark Lord Sentis like this.

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